Mid-November?

I realize it's been a few days since I last wrote. I have discovered that I am on a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster. It's not a surprise, but it was still a little unexpected for me. No big deal, though.
My mom being here to help has been a godsend, though I feel guilty. It's hard enough for me to sit back and do next to nothing, but when I am watching another doing my work, it's horribly difficult. I'm trying to be good and just give over control, though. Difficult, again....to say the least. But, I'm trying.
Lucas is being wonderful. He has his moments, of course. He IS only 2, so he can't just get the drift of what's going on, but he's being a good boy. He's playing, walking the miles with me through the neighborhood (what a sight we must be....little boy accompanying his momma who's constantly in pj's or yoga pants), not fighting with the dog, making us laugh (which is still a little mean to do to me), and spending plenty of time with Gramma. I do think, though, that he'll be happy to have other little kiddos to play with come Monday when I return to school. I'm sure he'll argue the fact when he's dropped off, but Mondays are also the 1-hour day for him, so it'll be a fairly easy transition back.
I'll be seeing what's left from the explosion tomorrow, as well. There are many places damaged, some of which won't be opening again for a while because of that fact, and the ATF will be here for a number of days while trying to piece together what happened. It's been thought it was natural gas, but nobody knows for sure. Weird. Anyway, I'll be seeing the remains because I have to go that way to return a very overdue library book. It came from the branch right here by our house, but since that's being expanded and is currently gutted, coupled with the fact we can't find the drop-box, I'll be taking it to the main campus just up the street from the explosion. The bad thing? Union Avenue is shut down in that part of town, so I get to direct mom through the streets (since I'm still banned from driving). It could turn out to be an experience. I'm still taking my camera, though. She's less than amused because of the possible threat of asbestos (also still not confirmed), but I've always been this way.
Despite the fact I've been taking walks almost each day, I am stir crazy. I want to get up into the mountains. I want to play with the ponies. I am glad I'm returning to school. I feel good, but have little reminders that my body is healing. It's hard to take this long to get past something! Still, it's worth it, especially since I already feel better than I have for a very, very long time.
It's obvious I'm extremely bored since my writing is so rambling. As such, I am going to go find some shoes and the dog's leash so we can enjoy a lengthy walk in the 65 degree weather. Seriously, is it really mid-November? Then I can come home and see about starting to put some thoughts together in an attempt to get this paper on cloning equine geldings for breeding purposes written. Yippee....

The Explosion....

I'm not sure how many of you out in Bloggerland have heard the big news out of Pueblo this afternoon and early evening. It's pretty horrible, yet miraculous. First, and foremost, we are fine. We are approximately 10 miles West, though I know the area well and am a little emotionally shook up.
You see, about the time mom and I left for my doctor's appointment just after 2pm, a landmark restaurant in the historic district of downtown Pueblo blew up. Leveled to the ground. Is no longer in existence. I knew something was going on as we got about 20 miles up the freeway and I saw 2 different local news vans within seconds of each other heading South. I, of course, didn't know where or what (in helping mom find her way, the car radio was off), just that it was an unusual sight. It was about 2 hours later that I heard the news.
It hit me pretty hard simply because I am intimate with the area. The store across the street from the explosion is one of my favorites. I'm sure it's not completely unscathed, but the occupants and patrons are fine. Luke and I walk this part of the historic district and window shop very often. The people are fantastic. The sights are great. As much as I dislike this desert spot, I actually like Pueblo. Had I actually been in the house instead of the car, I would've been able to feel and hear the explosion. For whatever reason, this hit hard.
Now for the gritty details. There were 8 people inside. The devastating part is that one person has died. The miracle is that the other 7 are alive and seemingly alright. Not perfect, mind you, but alive. The last survivor, an elderly gentleman known as Gino, was pulled out of the rubble on live television, conscious, speaking, moving, and battered after 4 hours of waiting. Amazing!
I hope to be able to gain access within the next couple of days. I don't know if that will be feasible because of the closed streets, but I am anxious to see how the landscape there has changed once the public is again allowed on that thoroughfare. I have to drive right by to visit the museum I hope to take mom to. There is a decent slideshow on http://www.krdo.com/global/Category.asp?c=153408&image=14, and at http://www.koaa.com/external_content_wide?url=http://superviewer.koaa.com/News&title=SuperViewer, if anyone is interested.
So it's been a little bit of a difficult day, but one that is worthy of giving thanks. Appropriate for this time of year.....

Hawaiian Memories....

We finally have some......mist. Hey, it's making the ground wet, which is more than we've had in a long while.

Robyn commented that sitting on the beach with the waves crashing while lounging in pajamas sounded wonderful. You know, it does! The only problem is that I'd choose Shark's Cove or Hale'iwa to lounge and one can't play with the turtles who beg for attention when they're in lounge pants! I guess I'd choose shorts.....but can I still get away with a tank top?

Who cares? The amount of tourists wearing things they really shouldn't means I wouldn't stand out too much....so, yes. I can't get over the thought of relishing the salt-smelling air, watching the sharks on the reefs (which I also miss because they'd check out my toes when I'd venture onto the reefs), the turtles bobbing in the surf, the ships and subs heading to sea (except on the North Shore they aren't exactly seen...but then, those are also still hard memories, so watching them come back into Pearl Harbor would be better), and loving the sound of the waves crashing and kids playing.

Speaking of the sea-going vessels, I do miss having the opportunity to meet all the interesting sailors from all over the world. I moved back to the Mainland shortly after RimPac '98 concluded. Granted, I came back here in '99, but it was only a few months after the conclusion of this event. The variety of ships & subs, the multitude of flags flying from the vessels, the different uniforms, and the interesting people were fantastic! There was also one ship that I came within hours of taking a deployment on. I would've been at sea and cruising the world for 3-months. At the last moment (literally, it was hours before we were to shove off) someone decided that a co-worker of mine was to go. We were both livid. He went before and hated it, I was dying to go. I'll always regret missing that deployment, but it also turned out okay. I ended up with a 3-day TDY to another location that was WONDERFUL. Just short. It just wasn't that one particular ship. The one I can name, but won't.

And, oh the stories of the boat! Actually, as much as I miss my duty in Hawaii, and the sweet smell of the pineapple field after a long night underground, I don't miss the boat. There were parts of being a submarine girl that were awesome, but the fact my Dear was gone for days, weeks, months at a time with zero contact (beyond piles of letters that would appear after they surfaced long enough to drop off mail) were hell. I'd go each night (or morning, depending on shift) to Aloha A'ina Park, sit on the wall, peer out past the harbor and into the ocean to shed a few tears and whisper sweet nothings to the sky. Every single day. I'd be happy for the families that would "join" me when their boat would come in as they'd wave to the crew members on the mast or on the deck, cheer, and run the length of the park with their loved ones, then dash to their cars to meet the boat at the pier. But I'd hate them, too. At least until it was my turn.

Those days are long gone. I still search for aquariums when we move to a new place and long for the smell of salt in the air. I relish the warmth of summer because of the memories of Hawaii. But I still am a mountain girl. When I had the opportunity to fly with a now famous General to Haleakala on Maui, I was more excited over having the grapple snow fall on us than the reason we were there. Bless his heart, he was a real sport about it. I have to wonder what this 4-star General had running through his mind when the 22-year old Senior Airman he was traveling with squealed like a little girl over pellet snow. He did laugh, so I give him credit. In all fairness, the facilities we toured that day were awesome. They stick in my mind. But that snow, and the low aerial views of the volcanoes on the Big Island were my highlight. Seriously, I don't think many people get the opportunity to do that in a Blackhawk helicopter, and I know it was special! Anyway, that should have been a clue. As much as I long for the simmering days of summer, I still have need for a little bit of snow and cold.

So, I am a little happy today. I am still bored out of my mind, but I am happy because it's a sweltering 40-degrees outside with a little mist falling. It finally feels a bit like November. So, I am happy....

Boredom....

I am so bored. I am pretty well useless right now. I offered to help look for the missing car keys that Luke apparently hid well, and I offered to take care of the cat litter. Both mundane, easy, and at least something besides sitting my butt in bed or the recliner. No dice. I got in trouble for even thinking about it. *sigh*

At this point I kind of wish we were in Hawaii. At least there I could plant my butt on the beach and rest. I loved living there. It was never boring, always beautiful, always warm, and the sweet smell of salt water is soothing. I am glad to not be living there any longer, but right now I am deeply missing it. But when I think of it, who in their right mind would want to sit on the beach with all those people who have beautiful bodies while my tummy is no longer flat but squishy, has holes in it, and I'd be stuck in pajama pants and t-shirts? Oh, wait, I have never really had a right mind, so that takes care of that.

Actually, I am anxious for snow. The storms all hit the mountains, snow themselves out, blow over us as gusts of wind, and become weather making monsters again about 100 miles East of here. That gets boring. It's the biggest reason I can't wait to get out of Pueblo. Not that it's a big deal, but it gets old quick. Dad might come for Thanksgiving, which would be really nice, but it would kind of be icing if we'd get some snow. On the plus side, I did get to see a few flurries from my hospital room on Wednesday morning. Literally about 3 minutes of light flurries, then all done. Still, better than nothing.

I have a sort of renewed vigor to become a nurse. Why? Because of the way we were treated. We had a wonderful nurse at night, and the charge nurse at night was beyond belief. They are what nurses should be! Beyond that? Well, I'll just say they were lacking in bedside manner. I realize they are busy, work long hours, and see a lot of people each week, but to me it isn't an option to make the patient and families feel like they're royalty. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's why I was the one assigned to brief the mass amounts of Senators, Congressmen, various military officials, etc. It's why I was always assigned to be the cashier because I made sure the customers left the store with a smile, no matter how the rest of the visit went. Among other things.

The big problem is that enough people have shown interest in the nursing field now that the idea is to weed out those who aren't the best students. They want academic nurses, people like me aren't so academic. I'm practical. But, sadly, that's not what's really wanted. So we trade practical talent and personal care for book talent and snappiness toward people. I have a few options, but it's definitely going to take me a lot, a LOT longer to get my nursing degree.

Can you tell I'm bored? I'm blabbering on about a bunch of stupid stuff. Maybe I'm entertaining someone somewhere. At least that's a little bit of usefulness. And as long as someone gets a chuckle, or at least a smile, then that's good enough for me....

The Healing Time...

I am amazed that I am feeling as well as I am! Honestly, I keep waiting for a crash. My body just doesn't react this way! Now, that's not to say that I'm not sore, not hobbling around like an old lady, or able to do much of anything, but I'm in better shape than I expected at this point.

I am so thankful for my dear, sweet, wonderfully patient husband and my mother who has seemingly endless energy. If it weren't for them, I would already be trying to do way too much. Not to mention that my perfect little boy is so intuitive and pretty well leaving me alone. He sat with me for a bit this evening and took a nap, but he's rather in the mood to just look at me from a distance. What a great kid!

I am still amazed, though, that I, the patient, am the one who knew what was wrong. I, the patient, am the one who told the doctors in this area that my gallbladder was shot. I am seriously considering giving my family practitioner and the idiot G.I. doctor a rude awakening, and firing the practitioner. It makes me angry. I am glad that I had the summer to play around, though. It was a great summer!

I am disappointed in the election results, but I spoke my mind and that's what matters. It's not just the General Election stuff, there's some things in this state that have me shaking my head. That is part of living in this country, though. We have the freedom to choose what we want. It's a great thing! Only time will tell how things pan out.

Now I will continue staying quiet and healing. It is going to be wonderful to take a run, to ride a pony, to walk further than the living room, but for now it's just wonderful to be home....

I'm Home....

I am home! Thank you to everyone who has passed on such kind words, cards, flowers, and stuff. They have done me a world of good! I need to rest quite a bit (obviously), but will check in from time-to-time.

Quick Thanks...

I just wanted to convey a very quick thank you to everyone who has passed on such kind and loving words! Tomorrow is the big day, mom is here, Luke is happy to have her, and I'm ready. There are a couple of people I need to email back, I just haven't had a chance. I will very soon.

Have a Happy Election Day, and I'll be in touch again soon!