Harsh...

To say it's been a long and somewhat stressful week would be an understatement. To say that I am so tired of seeing and having much of anything to do with the medical community would be dead on. Maybe I shouldn't be using the word "dead." It's amazing how quickly things can go from great and happy to horribly wrong in a matter of a second.

I spent the better part of 2 days in the hospital at the beginning of the week. Monday was a usual day. Great ride on a wonderful pony, playtime with my boy, and enjoyment of some wonderful, yet worrisome weather. Our neighbor was injured over the weekend, so I worked on cooking him dinner. That's when things changed...

I felt like someone rammed a freight train into my chest. It was sudden, not a buildup. I wasn't worried, figured I had to lay down while the lasagna cooked. Luke very cutely lay down next to me. Then he got bored and took off...I did the same, it wasn't helping me. In fact, it was worsening. I took an aspirin. Dinner being done for the neighbor, I took the dish down the street. On the way back I said hi to another neighbor. It was moments after that I knew, without a doubt, that I actually was in trouble. I called Jeff, who was still at work, and said I was going to Urgent Care. I wasn't even out of the driveway before I changed my mind and headed for the ER the local hospital put in my community. Just a few minutes later I was contemplating calling an ambulance....but being the stubborn person I am, I refused to let 1/4 mile get the better of me and force me to leave my son sitting in his carseat in a busy intersection while I let go and closed my eyes. Had I realized how bad the shape I was, I wouldn't have tried to drive myself, but that didn't come to light until I was so close to the ER. By then I was sure I was going to die. Hindsight is 20/20.

It took a few hours and a number of tests, but it was determined I was to be transferred and admitted to the hospital. It was 9pm Tuesday evening before I was sent home.

Nobody knows for sure what happened. Right on par for myself, every single test, even the "fancy" ones (as my doctor calls them) came back inconclusive. My bloodwork was really weird, and there is definite evidence there that SOMETHING happened, but nothing is concrete enough to tell us. The best, and most accepted guess is that I suffered a pulmonary embolism, based strictly on my symptoms and bodily reaction.

No matter what, this has been a harsh moment for us. I look forward to getting back to "normal," whatever that may be, but am glad to have this moment of rest. Afterall, I am still here! Now it is off to sleep again.....